This week I realized I had neglected one important issue for a long: schedule time for rest and recovery. No matter in how many places it had been written. That was a great example of how the stressful mind is prone to keep itself busy, prone to seek more trouble. If you act in a panic, you are more likely to create more problems rather than help yourself out of the situation. To cut that vicious circle, you should keep your mind away from the thoughts as long as there is enough space for new ideas.
Seeing something in a wider perspective, knowing and understanding something by heart naturally changes your behavior. The less there is doubt, the easier everything becomes to apply in practice. Finally, my subconscious heard the permission to give in and put me in a deep sleep to recover my cognitional capacity. As I did my daily sittings, I had to start over and over since I had fallen asleep again and again.
I wrote myself a plan of action and decided to sacrifice my time and dedication in the following manner. Two days per week are for resting, recovery and spontaneous thoughts. Then I continued: Two and half days are for listening, two and half days are for creative expression. I was very satisfied to have written these guidelines. Now it was just about fitting my activities on the template. Suddenly everything looked much clearer.
Then I had to create a feedback system for myself. How I will otherwise know the direction I am moving to? Clarity, focus, voice, coordination, what would be the best way to measure them? What do you use by the way? And also acceptance, allowance, and vitality. Here I found a good tool of measure, and it is even numeric. How much of good I can allow coming to me? How much I rely on my skills to conduct the currencies, what is the volume I can share? In three months I want to be without any debts, ready to invest in the future. The amount I consider realistic and reasonable since I have made the same money twice in less than two months. But on that phase of my life, I was decisive, I had a vision of my future. Then suddenly the vision was gone and as a result, I lost my hunger for life, my libido, my vitality. Now I see that as far as I remember what I desired, the essential elements are still there. Surprisingly, quite many requirements to put the visions in practice are now met.
I am still suffering to some extent from the memory loss caused by the shyness and I am working hard to update my identity. I am still struggling with my communication, but I am training hard every day by inviting people to the celebration. The universe has been testing me for a long, and now I want to challenge back. Let’s see how you are made of, and is it so what I have been told? I’m here, come to get me. Or should I try to catch you first?